330 Mike Tyson's Mindset, Detoxing from Social Media, and Dreaming of my Deceased Mama (Solo Show)
Life-changing insights and personal reflections after eight days off Instagram
Have you ever deleted the app?
We're back with another SOLO episode this week.
I'm diving into some life-changing insights and personal reflections after eight days off Instagram (teaser - I found a LOT of clarity and focus!).
I also recap a crazy dream bout my late mother, and thinking about how to maintain spiritual connections. As well as the fascinating transition of our thirties, finding balance outside of work, the podcast I listened to about the mindset of Mike Tyson and MORE!
It goes ALL over the place, so let's dive in!
Episode Time Stamps:
[03:18] Is audio vlogging a thing?
[09:03] My decision to get off Instagram for 2 weeks
[14:36] Dreaming of my deceased mom and wondering how to maintain connection to dead people
[17:48] Something unique about our 30's and how they bring self-awareness, confidence, and career clarity.
[23:37] Finding joy and community through my biking adventures.
[26:51] Embrace a winning mindset like Mike Tyson (I loved his podcast with grant Cardone)
To connect with Kelsey:
Access the transcript for this episode:
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You are listening to the Visionary Life podcast. I'm your host, Kelsey Reidl.
Each week, I'll bring you conversations with the most visionary humans on this earth in hopes that you'll be able to absorb their wisdom, avoid their failures, and feel less alone on the roller coaster ride that is entrepreneurship. This season, I'll be chatting with creative thinkers, masterful marketers, brick and mortar shop owners, brand builders, and people just like you who have a story to share or a vision that inspires. If I can share one quick secret with you before we get into the episode, it's that we all have a little bit of visionary inside of us. You know, that spark that nudges us to pursue our full potential in this lifetime.
But perhaps somewhere along the line, it got covered up. I'm here to tell you that it's never too late to explore that inner voice and access the brilliance deep down inside of you.It's in you. It's in all of us. Let's dive in. Hey, visionary, do you remember why you got into business? Why you said yes to entrepreneurship in the first place? For so many of us, it's because of that freedom that it can bring and the joy of helping our clients and our customers transform their lives. But then we get bogged down with things like too much responsibility, decision paralysis, feeling so alone and like we're doing this by ourselves. And what's worse is that we can see everything we desire and we just don't know how to get to that next level. So what if there was a space where you could actually come on a weekly basis to enrich your business, to hang around other impact driven and health and lifestyle anchored entrepreneurs and people who have shared values and really big visions like you do. My co host, Emily Elliott and I run an exclusive mastermind for high performing female entrepreneurs.
We are almost full, but we are accepting a few new members. So you can head over to kelseyridel.com mastermind. If you've been looking for a community and a group of women just like you, this is a space that focuses on individual and shared success. We celebrate each other. We hold space for each other. We coach each other. And Emily and I lead you through trainings. And we bring forward guest experts on the topic of luck, on money mindset, on things you can do to improve your sales, conversions, and so much more.
Our group meets at the same time each week, every single Wednesday, and each month. We set our focus around key areas so that you can become the most resilient, motivated, and healthy entrepreneur possible. So we have strategy time, implementation time. But we also talk about relationships, mental agility, adventurous marketing, boosting conversions, etcetera. Again, this is an exclusive space for high performing female entrepreneurs, so head over to kelseyridel.com mastermind to apply. You can see pricing, what it looks like to join who's in the room with us, and we definitely only have a few spots, so if you want to slide in, we would love to see your application come through. Hey visionaries, welcome back to the show. Thanks so much for the love and kind words on last week's solo episode.
There was no plan to it. I kind of just riffed, but I hope you enjoyed it. And I'm back for another one. As you guys may or may not have known, I've told this story many times, but seven years ago, when I really wanted to start either a podcast or a YouTube channel or some sort of passion project just to begin to get more visible, and I was really starting from scratch and just yearning for a creative project, I wasn't sure, should I do the YouTube thing? Should I do the podcast thing? And I was a huge listener of podcasts. And my girlfriend, as we were walking around shopping at the Christmas market, she's a friend of mine from our days working at Vega. She said, kels, I think you'd be really good at starting a podcast. But one thing that I've always wanted to replicate is vlogs. So I'm a big consumer of YouTube, and I love watching vlogs where people just turn the camera on themselves and kind of take you through their thoughts and meanderings through the day.
But I kind of had this epiphany. Like, you know, I don't think I'm at a chapter of my life where I want to start a YouTube channel. I've got a four month old baby. My style is horrible these days. Like, I kind of look like a mess. I'm breastfeeding all the time. I don't really know that this is the right moment in my life to have camera following me around. And I've really tried to make it happen, but there's something in me that's blocked.
But podcasting feels so easy, and I always say, if it feels light, it's right. And podcasting does feel light. So I'm going to try more of these audio vlogs, we'll call them, where I kind of am just like, recapping my week, taking you through what's been on my mind, and bringing you up to speed. So let's do a little bit of that it's kind of like a hybrid between a YouTube vlog and a podcast audio vlog. And on that note, too, if you guys have any favorite youtubers that you watch, definitely let me know. I'm a huge fan of homesteaders like Sarah Therese, who does sourdough. I love Loewski's life. She's another canadian homesteader.
I love Sarah's day. So those are the kind of youtubers that I love to follow. But if you have channels that you can't get enough of, send them my way. All right, so it is a Monday when I'm recording this. My day started great. I woke up with Freddie around 06:00 a.m. He decided to have an early morning. I laid in bed for, like, ten minutes while he was just kind of cooing and just like, he likes to, like, laugh and just fold his body in half in his crib.
He's at this phase where he can munch on his own toes, which is so weird in its own right. I'm always like, can you not eat your feet? But also, he's kind of teething, and I think it feels good, but it's also so strange when your child is chomping on their foot. So, anyways, I was kind of watching him on the monitor, and then eventually it just always feels good to, like, go into his room and he smiles, and he's such a happy boy when he wakes up. So, anyways, the day started nice and early. It was great. And then Dave left for work around 720, and then he called me as soon as he got to work at eight, and he's like, oh, my God, I forgot my laptop. I was like, okay, well, I just put Freddie down for his first nap from eight to nine, but he was like, could you possibly. And even though Freddie hates the car, so this is a big ask.
Could you possibly drive 35 minutes, drop it off at work, and then drive home? And honestly, guys, I am a planner. Like, it is scary sometimes how much I love having a plan for the next day before I go to bed the previous night. So I like to know, when am I going to shower? What time am I getting up? When am I getting my workout in? What will Freddie's schedule be? Do I have any commitments? When are my client calls? When I'm going to squeeze in this podcast recording? And if I had it my way, especially the pre mother, pre mother version of me, I would schedule every minute of a day I just love. I'm a max maximizer. If you've ever done Clifton strengths finder. So I love to maximize my time, and I want to do it all. I want to do my stretching. I want to do my baking.
I want to do watering my plants. I want to sit outside. I want to read my book. I want to do self care. I want to go contribute to the cycling club. I want to message my friends. Like, it's weird. I just want to do it all in a day.
But then, you know, you get a phone call and it's like, can you pause your day and come bring me my laptop? And normally that would totally irg me, but I've really been working on flipping my mindset and just being like, first, of course I can. Like, my husband needs his computer for work, and I didn't have a ton of commitments today. But second, I just thought, wait, why is this awesome? And I thought, we get to go on an adventure on a Monday morning. And so the adventure happened, and it was awesome. I mean, Freddie definitely still doesn't like the car, but I tried to make it as fun as possible, and we just went with it. And then when we got home, I actually had a bike tune up at my house. So that was awesome. I love a service that can come straight to your home, especially as a busy mama, it is such a luxury to have people who will not make you come to them, but they actually come to you and do some work.
So that was just such a blessing. So I'm just gonna go through some random musings today and take what you love, leave what you don't. But I want to start with the fact that I have been off Instagram for eight days. What a crazy eight days. It's been the best. And I have no real desire to get back on. I actually wrote a post about this on Facebook and on LinkedIn, but I've really been enjoying it. I just decided last week that it was time for a healthy break.
I have a really busy month coming up, and I thought, okay, like, I do have the bandwidth to hold it all and to be present for my business, to dive into all the marketing that I usually do to show up for these events that I've committed to to serve my one on one clients. But would there be one thing that I could temporarily eliminate that would free up a ton of space and give me even more clarity and focus? And what immediately came to mind, you guys, was Instagram. Like, how much time do you spend on social media apps? Some of you, it might be 20 minutes, and it's just before you go to bed. But for some of you. And I see it, and we all see it out in the real world, people are doom scrolling all day, or they're spending hours and hours and hours on whether it's Instagram or just on their phone or on social media in general. And it's a weird world, right? Because while your head is down looking at your phone, you are missing out on everything that's right in front of you. And I talk about that in this week's newsletter, and I mentioned it on last week's podcast because my head was up. I met my friend Clarence, and we had genuine conversations, and we talked about life.
And that's the kind of life that I want. And so one step that I decided to take, again, this is not going to be permanent. This is just for a week or two. I just decided to delete Instagram and see how things go. Especially as someone who's an online business owner who relies on social media and online marketing for growth and connection and community. And I really love Instagram. In fact, I have pretty strict boundaries around it. I have no notifications on.
I don't even get those red bubbles. So when I open my phone, there is no. Nothing to look at. It looks like nobody has messaged me in years because I don't even see the amount of messages. And that's a setting that I recommend everyone turn on. But anyways, I thought, you know what? Why don't I focus on these key projects and just eliminate Instagram and really any other distractions, and I'll just kind of document my thoughts as I go. And I guess, you know, one of the main reflections that I have eight days in is that when you are so used to sharing vulnerably and authentically and often on Instagram stories, life becomes content. Like, you look at everything, like, oh, I should pull out my phone.
Oh, I should snap a picture. Oh, I should film this and create a reel out of it. That is so. It's awesome. And I love that I can do this as a business, and I love that I can be the face of my business. But also, I don't really love that I look at life as content. And just in a short eight day manner, I have stopped doing that. I have no urge to pull out my phone.
I've never been the person that's been on my phone. Like, you might assume at a table full of ten people that, oh, well, Kelsey, she's been in this online business. She's always on Instagram. But I will never be the person at a party on my phone. I will never be the person who's with you hanging out, trying to film you for content. In fact, I see other people doing that. And so I've always really prided myself on having healthy boundaries. But it's also challenging when you're creating content inside of your real life and you genuinely enjoy it.
So that's one of the biggest things, is that I've kind of stopped looking at every moment in my day. Like the coffee that I drink out of a cute mug, the walk that I'm on with my dog, the podcast that I'm recording. I'm just doing it. I'm just being, which is really, really cool. And it was so funny. I actually paused on a hike the other day with Freddie and Abby. And normally I would pull out my phone and maybe just, like, start, you know, recording something or sharing some deep reflections on. On social.
And instead, I just kind of, like, laid back. Freddie was, like, doing some tummy time on my chest. Abby was hanging out, looking at the river. And get this, I literally started contemplating the meaning of life. I'm not even joking. It's like all of a sudden, my brain went deep. I was laying back, and I just thought, you know, what does it mean to be here? And I'm like, wow. One week off instagram, and here I am contemplating the meaning of life.
It was beautiful. I really enjoyed it. And I was just kind of bird watching and watching the river flow, which is always just so therapeutic in its own regard. But on that note, too, I actually had the craziest dream, and I could almost get emotional talking about this. But since my mom passed away two and a half or almost three years ago now, I have had maybe one or two dreams where she's been alive. And I don't really remember even if in those two dreams, if I was talking to her or if I really saw her face. And it was really special. The other day or night, I woke up, and actually it was the morning time, and I forget what day it is, but I woke up and I just, like, sat there for a second, and I was like, oh, my God.
I just had a dream that my mom was alive, and I was chatting with her, and I believe Freddie was with me and she was healthy, and I heard her voice, and I saw every beautiful wrinkle on her face, and it was just like old times, and it was so incredible, and it was only a two minute conversation, or it felt really short, like we barely got to scratch the surface, but it was so real and so palpable. I don't know if this has anything to do with going off Instagram, but maybe just, like, the freedom in my brain allowed me to have this dream. And I'll tell you the crazy part. So the beginning of the dream, I was at a bike ride, as I normally am, and I was chatting with a friend of mine from the cycling club. And then I said, oh, okay. Like, I gotta get in my car and go visit my parents. And so I got in my car, I put my bike on the trunk, and I drove to my parents house, and I had to park in this, like, really low underground parking spot. And then I walked in the garage door, and I had to go up four escalators.
So my parents had these, like, escalators in their home. And I know this is so crazy, right? And so I went up at one escalator, and then I walked a few steps, and I went up the other escalator, and then I walked a few steps, and then there was actually a staircase, and I ended up in my parents kitchen. It was, like, a modernized version of their kitchen. And anyways, and then I sat down, chatted with my mom. All was great and normal, and then the dream was over, and I just, like, can't stop thinking about how crazy that was that I kind of went up all these escalators to chat with her and just how beautiful it was to talk with her again. And I've definitely struggled with how to keep in touch or have a relationship with someone who's passed on. So if you have any resources for that, please let me know. I know it's totally a out there concept, and for some of you, you're like, I don't even know, where do I begin? But for some of you, maybe you do have a certain ritual or practice.
Maybe it's journaling. That hasn't worked for me necessarily, but I am looking for ways to just keep in touch with my mom. And so if you know any, just, like, a method or a practice that you have or just some spiritual anecdote, I'd love for you to share it with me. You can just send me an email at Kelsey Rydell on Instagram or hello.com. So, yeah, that was kind of crazy. That morning, I woke up, and I actually went on a walk, and I chatted with a friend, and I told her all about my dream. And then I called another friend, and we got chatting just about our job situations and hers in particular, where she's actually at this stage in her career where she's getting random messages on LinkedIn and people who are looking to almost poach her. And I just thought, how cool.
I know a lot of you listening are in your thirties or maybe a little older, and you have followed me since the days where I shared about being let go from my dream jobs and my twenties and how devastating that was. And it can be kind of a rollercoaster ride in your twenties, whether you're starting your own thing or working for someone else. And it's like you're constantly looking for that dream job and you're fighting for your salary and you're wondering like, is this it? Where is the next step? And I do feel like there's this milestone that happens in your thirties where you really start to come into your knowing. You're knowing of your values, you're knowing of what type of lifestyle you want, you're knowing of what your skill sets are like. You're no longer waiting for your manager to be like, I anoint you as somebody who has this skill and who can move into this position. It's more so like, damn, we're in our mid thirties. We know what we're good at, we know what type of job and pay and hours and lifestyle we really deserve at this stage in our life. And it's cool because I feel like a lot of people are not afraid to either start looking for that or ask for that.
Or in this case, where I was chatting with my friend, she's now being asked to come work for other companies. And it's like, what a pivot from our twenties when we're like clawing for work to now be at this place where people are actually wanting to work with you. And I have experienced the same transformation in my business journey. When I launched my business eight years ago, I was out there seeking clients. I was teaching tons of workshops, I was posting all the time creating content, and it was more of like this push marketing style. And that's what you have to do when you're building an audience and when people don't necessarily line up on a waitlist to come work with you. But I have found now that I'm in my mid thirties, I've been in the game eight years. There has been this role reversal whereby now people are kind of waiting in a queue to work with me and they're seeking me out without me having to like, sell them on why my services are important or valuable.
And I just think this is such a neat phase. And keep in mind, you know, for my girlfriend, she's been working at her career for almost 15 years. And in my case, I've been almost a decade in my business. So this is not something that you should expect in the early days. But if you stick with it, if you're consistent, if you apply the slight edge, that edge that you show up every single day, you do something small, you continue to work hard and to push in the right direction and to walk out a path that you know has a future, eventually it will all pay off. The only way to fail is to quit. So if you're at this stage where you're like, I don't know, I've been doing this Instagram thing or posting on LinkedIn for two weeks, and it's not working. It's not going to work after such a short amount of time.
Like, we need to play the long game and really look at business and our career on a long time horizon. And this goes the opposite way, too. If you're unhappy and you're in your twenties or thirties or even your forties, and you're saying, well, this is just the way it's always going to be, keep in mind, you still have a decade, or two decades, or three decades, or even four decades of career ahead of you, so it is never too late to make a change, right? And actually, that's something we talked about in the episode that I recently published with Melissa Ramos. She had a career in advertising. She was feeling like it was misaligned. She actually broke out in, like, a full body rash and kind of waited till it got so bad, like, till her body physically gave her symptoms. And then she ended up making a change and launching sexy food therapy as a blog. But for a lot of us, like, do we want to wait till that moment where we literally become ill, we hit burnout, we feel exhausted? Or do we want to proactively make that change, knowing that we have a big lifetime ahead of us to conquer? And the last thing we need is to be completely resentful, burnt out, because that ripples into every other area of life.
And I know for me, something that keeps me so grounded is just having my hobbies and having something that brings me joy. Building a business isn't always joyful. It takes work, and it does take hustle. I'm not really a subscriber as, like, lean back and manifest everything you want, and I'm just gonna coast through life and hopefully everyone is just attracted to my services and like, let's just think of a number that we want to make and we'll earn that. There's, like, a certain degree of effort and work that has to go into growth. And I'm really a firm believer in that, in this culture of like, just sit back and create a vision board. And I think that one of the things that we can all do is to make sure that we're having a lot of fun and experiencing joy interwoven with the business that we're building. I mean, for me, it's having my biking and my cycling outside of work.
I love having three, maybe four days a week where I can jump on my bike and just go be free and get ideas and be like, I cannot be on my phone while I'm biking and I'm with friends and I'm in nature, I'm biking along the river. And it brings me so much joy and inspiration just getting out of the house. And it's also just like a different community of friends. Like, I talk with people who are not business owners and I hear just so much of, I don't know, like, how people perceive life. And it's just really cool to have a community that is holding you accountable to becoming your fittest, best self. And actually, last Thursday we had our mountain bike season opener and it was just so fun because when you find friends as an adult, in this case, it was twelve individuals, we went biking together, we explored trails, we laughed, we got muddy, and then we all came back to my house. We had pizza, we had drinks and just enjoyed, enjoyed the night together. And I just think it's really special, no matter what your hobby, to find friends in your adult life who you can just be silly with and almost just be playful.
And that is kind of an area in my life where I get to be playful because biking is problem solving. You're looking at roots and rocks and going, how do I get over this? And you're often falling up a hill and, like, laughing at each other and cheering each other on. And people literally have, like, not gotten hurt, but like fallen off little bridges and they're just like laying in a mud pit and they're like, oh, well. So I think that type of thing is just so important as we get older and especially to just tear you away from your laptop and your phone and also to do something that strengthens you physically. Speaking of that, too, I actually listened to a really interesting podcast with Grant Cardone. He's the guy who talks about Ten X and he interviewed Mike Tyson. And I don't know if I've been living under a rock, but, like, I didn't really know a lot about Mike Tyson's upbringing and I haven't listened to much content about who he is today and how he thinks. But it was such an inspiring episode.
It aired early May 2024, and Mike Tyson, not only has he had the most insane challenges in his upbringing, so kudos to him for overcoming it, but just the way that he frames his mindset. There is no doubt in my mind that one of the reasons why he is such a great athlete is because of his mindset. He only thinks in the positive. He's not even willing to entertain the idea of failure. He has such a unique take where he's like, even if you hate to do something, do it like you love it. And I really loved that approach. I think he said, do what you hate to do, but do it like you love it. And that just completely changes the energy you put into something.
So if you hate to blog, but you're like, no, I'm going to do blogging like, I love it. You're going to show up different. You're going to create different content. And another thing that Grant Cardone said, it was like, how do you box when you're injured? And he said, in this case, mike Tyson, how do you show up to a fight when your hand is broken? He's like, I don't show up with a broken hand. I show up with a winning mindset. And just like firmly said, we don't even worry about the broken hand and what we're not showing up with. We focus on what we are showing up. So instead of beating yourself, like, I am not great at writing, so I'll never be good at blogging or I'm going to show up to this Instagram Live, but I don't have a great zoom background, or I don't have good podcast cover art, or I don't have the best looking website.
It's like, what do you have? And focus on that. Double down on your strengths. That's where ten x comes from. If you focus on your weaknesses, if you're going into a fight saying, oh, my hand hurts, my, my fingers broken, well, that's already setting you up to have excuses and failure. And I'm not saying Mike Tyson is doing a good thing by fighting with a broken hand, but I love that he says, like, you just got to focus with what you are coming in to the fight with. And that's it. And so I thought that was really cool and a great takeaway. And I actually was sharing this with two of my besties, Krista and Steph, who were recently on the podcast.
And Steph said that Grant Cardone was actually part of a show called Undercover Billionaire. And I actually just purchased the season on YouTube. So I'm going to watch that show because apparently these billionaires, they go into small towns and they are tasked with making millions of dollars from scratch as quote unquote nobodies, because nobody knows them. So I thought that was super fascinating and I cannot wait to dive in. So this has been the random of all randoms. I hope you enjoy it. That's kind of a life update, a biz update. What's been on my mind these past seven or eight days.
And as always, I love hearing from you guys. So if you have any feedback, feedback, please reach out. And aside from that, you know where to find me. If you need one on one marketing support because you don't really have a funnel and you want to get googled, head to Kelsey Rydell.com privatecoaching and you can kind of find all of the links for how we can work together and how I can support your social media, your SEO and your list growth as long or as well as creating your website and all of your tangible assets to sell your services with ease and to make sure that people truly understand the value in your business. So that's it for today. I will see you guys next week. And in the meantime, have a visionary day. Hey, visionary.
Are you struggling to launch your business, find more clients, or to become fully booked and earn the income you actually need to make this business work? It's likely because you're struggling with your marketing. Marketing is literally the start, the top of your salesforce funnel. And without an effective marketing strategy, you're missing out on hundreds or even thousands of dollars. So that stops here. When you hire me as a business and marketing coach, what I'm going to do is I'm going to help you to identify new income opportunities, to optimize your lead generation, both online and offline, and to accomplish more than you ever thought possible by joining my project management software and having me tell you exactly, exactly what you need to do to grow your business. In our time together, we will cover your social media marketing plan, your search engine optimization or SEO, and how to rank on Google. We're going to talk about activating strategic partnerships where there could be hundreds and thousands of dollars waiting for you all so that you can grow your business this year. So right now we have start dates available for March and April of 2024.
These are going to fill up fast, so make sure you drop your name on our waitlist. Just head to kelseyreidl.com privatecoaching for details. And if you want some insight into what's happening when people hire me as their marketing coach, Emily Fraser signed six new clients in one day. Barb just finished a $20,000 launch where previously she was making about 500 to 1000 perfect month. And Christina landed a $100,000 consulting gig using my one marketing strategy. Yes, that's a six figure deal with one client. So head to Kelsey Rydell.com privatecoaching. Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Visionary Life.
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